Elias Carter

People with ADHD often struggle with object permanence, meaning if we don’t see it, it basically stops existing in our minds. Out of sight = out of mind, literally.

Add that to a lack of working memory and executive dysfunction, and you get a perfect storm:

• I put my phone down while thinking of something else.
• Then I leave the room to do another thing.
• Then I remember I need my phone… and it’s gone.

It’s not just about items. It feels like I’m constantly chasing after my own life.

The Emotional Toll

People think it’s funny. “Haha, classic Elias, always losing stuff!” But inside, it’s frustrating. It makes me feel like I’m failing at the simplest parts of life.

I’ve missed buses because I couldn’t find my shoes. I’ve been late to work because I couldn’t find my badge. I’ve bought the same item three times because I lost the first two.

And the worst part? I feel ashamed. Like I’m constantly disappointing people—and myself.

What Actually Helps Me

I’ve tried all the standard advice: “Put it back where it belongs!” Yeah… my ADHD doesn’t work like that. So I’ve had to find my own ways. Here’s what’s helped:

• Homes” for everything. I made visible, consistent places for the stuff I lose most: keys, wallet, phone. Always in the same spot.
• See-through storage. If I can’t see it, I forget it exists. Clear boxes, open baskets, no drawers.
• Key trackers. Lifesavers. I use Bluetooth tags on anything important.
• Verbal checkpoints. I say out loud: “Phone in pocket, keys in bag, wallet in hand.” It helps anchor the moment in my memory.
• Five-minute reset. Every night before bed, I do a mini search-and-reset. It’s like cleaning up my future chaos.

I still lose things. That hasn’t magically changed. But now I lose them less often. And I’m not as hard on myself when I do.

ADHD makes simple things feel hard. But that doesn’t mean we’re broken. It just means we need different tools—and a lot more patience.